Pushing Suicide Away

“He asked us, ‘How long do you think someone who commits suicide will spend in purgatory?’” correctional staff belatedly relayed. Sadly, none saw his questioning as a red flag. The next day, he was dead by suicide.

A second suicide was preceded by the person drawing many morbid images of Death.

Two Simple Questions

In the above, each one’s focus on death could have led one to ask,

“Why the interest in death—are you considering suicide?”

Asking this won’t prompt them to do it. Just the reverse: it tells them they’re noticed and cared about, which can bring them hope: they’re not alone in a crisis.

Suicide is preventable, and we can help.

There can be warning signals—perhaps disinterest in what was previously important, or despairing words. If noticing such, ask “What’s going on; are you thinking of suicide?” If their explanation is reassuring, fine; but if it indicates hopelessness or wanting to end life, ask this simple, second question:

“Right now—because how you feel is important—may we together call the Suicide hotline?”

Then, call the new crisis line at 988 or whomever else they want for help. Never say “Just stop thinking” about self-harm. Their admission is a positive, courageous step towards help.

These two questions can save lives. You needn’t be a licensed counselor; just address the signs, don’t leave them alone, and immediately seek help.

When There Are No Warning Signs

We can miss red flags if we’re self-focused, assume a person’s changed behavior is temporary, or believe it’s rude to ask about feelings. We also like to think that no one we know would kill themselves.

Those serving in corrections learn self-control and to mask feelings, which means that our corrections family must be more alert for subtle signs of distress.

The Compassionate Officer

One correctional officer was in his car, gun drawn, ready to end his life. A second officer, who’d not met him before, turned the situation around. How?

He told the distressed officer, “I care about you.”

The officer, in a shocked manner, asked, “You care—why?”

The rescuing officer shared that he’d once considered suicide due to a divorce, injuries, and financial loss, but chose not to.

He said, “I hope you won’t do this, because there’s always hope. But if you decide to go ahead, please–first–let me know, so I can get out of here, because I couldn’t handle seeing you kill yourself.”

The officer put down his gun. He is alive today.

Dealing With Causes—Creating Hope

Correctional staff are more capable and likely than the general population to notice distress, because they are trained to be alert for suicides among incarcerated individuals, and provide meals, meds, and more to them, and always be ready to back up fellow staff.

We’re made to help each other, as correctional staff do daily—often at personal sacrifice. God views this as so important that he says we should, “count others as more significant than ourselves”(Philippians 2:1-16). Doing so, we’re more likely to recognize one in pain and needing help, and take action—like asking those two questions.

The main cause of suicides is “unaddressed depression brought on by multiple life disappointments,” according to The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. If no help intervenes, depression moves to suicidal thought, then to self-harm.

Conversely, suicidal ideation can be replaced with hope, then positive action if the causes behind depression are addressed, with others. For example, marriage or family counseling is available through the Employee Assistance Program (EAP) and free resources such as Hope Restored and Focus on the Family. Financial guidance and coaches are also available online. A counselor or friend can help a depressed person identify major issues and devise a plan to tackle each. Even if some can’t be mitigated (e.g., chronic physical pain), by addressing other stressors, life can again be viewed as worth living. There is always hope unless suicidal thoughts are acted upon.

Deceptive Dilemma

Prior to becoming a volunteer chaplain solely for our jail’s staff, I spiritually supported its detainees. Sometimes, inmates would say, “I want to kill myself, but can’t because that’s the one sin God won’t forgive.” This posed an apparent dilemma, because while the statement is false, correcting the belief might encourage the person to commit suicide.

First, it’s false to think that suicide is unforgiveable by God, because when he came to earth as Jesus, he died to pay for all sin, including suicide. The well-known verse, John 3:16, says, “God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that whoever believes in him will not perish, but will have eternal life.” It doesn’t add at the end: “…unless he commits suicide.” There is no qualification or exclusion; every sin is covered by Jesus’s sacrifice.

Suicide doesn’t determine where a person will spend eternity. The only unforgivable sin is rejecting what he did for us: “Those who do not accept the good news of the sacrifice of Jesus will be punished and shut out from the presence of God forever.” (2 Thessalonians 1:8-9).

Repenting Is Not Effective

Second, some say suicide can’t be forgiven by God because the person can’t repent afterwards. But we each disobey God in our thoughts, words, and actions; we’ll each die with unconfessed sin—some of which we’ll be unaware of having committed! Even if we did somehow know all our sins and confess them, regret and repentance can’t “earn” entry to paradise. They still must be paid for; which is what Jesus did. (Good deeds don’t nullify bad ones.)

Third, all God requires for anyone to be assured of eternal life after dying is belief that Jesus paid for all sins (past, present, and future), and rose from the grave—proving he is God. Only God is pure and loving enough to pay for everyone’s sins. Those who freely accept this gift of life which Jesus sacrificed to buy, gain eternity: “The wages of sin is condemnation, but the free gift of God is eternal life, through Jesus Christ.” (Romans 6:23).

We contribute nothing but belief and faith in Him: “It is by grace you are saved through faith, and this faith is not from you, it’s a gift of God, not of works, so that no man can boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9).

We’re saved from hell by belief—not by mistaken, pride that we can be “good enough” to merit heaven.

Choosing Rewards

Someone who sincerely accepts the gift of eternal life and then commits suicide will still enter paradise. Yet, suicide disobeys God, who does not reward disobedience. His word explains that those who enter paradise will receive varying rewards for their obedience while on earth: “Watch that you do not lose what was accomplished, so that you may receive a full reward”(2 John 8-10).

Those who accept Christ, yet commit suicide, will find their eternal reward less than if they’d done as God planned for them: “For we are created in Christ to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do”(Ephesians 2:10). Jesus taught, “Death is the work of Satan, who comes only to steal, kill and destroy.” (John 10:10). No one should give into the Devil and kill themselves. That usurps God’s authority.

Even if your state allows euthanasia, the ‘right to die’ is an evil, bad idea. Death is the doorway to an eternal existence which may be far worse than what is being experienced in this life.

Each person is unique and loved by God. He has a purpose for each person: “I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, to prosper and not harm you, to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11). The solution to hopelessness is choosing to trust God and to gain hope by using whatever resources he provides: EAP, Peer Support, family, faith community, doctor, chaplain, websites, etc. Never give up, and keep alert for those in pain; God loves it when we care for others.

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Chaplain Linda Ahrens Chaplain American Jail Association

Note: The opinions expressed in the article are my own as a volunteer chaplain and do not reflect the views of any other entity.