All cultures have some form of religion and prayer, but not all prayers are effective. Prayer requires intention, discipline, and faith in the one true God's power. Prayer requires humility - expressing dependency upon God.

If you spoke to someone only when wanting something, you’d hurt their feelings—right? God hopes each person will choose to talk (pray) with Him often: “Pray continuously….” (1st Thessalonians 5:17). He wants an ongoing relationship with us, not requests thrown at him.

If someone wrote you a love letter, but you ignored it, they’d be sad, right? If we love someone, we want to be with them, and get to know them. The Bible is God’s love letter, to let us know Him. It also teaches, through examples, how to pray in ways that please Him.

If you go to someone, wanting something, barging in, saying, “Hey, give me ….” wouldn’t that’d be rude (and probably ineffective)? Yet, that’s how many speak to God: going to Him only to get something. That’s not a conversation, nor respectful.

Getting Ready

Praying reminds us that God’s nearby, able to provide peace and guidance. Start by thanking Him—perhaps for the world He created, your life, the gift of prayer, and for however He will answer your prayer. He’s pleased when we thank Him—just as you like getting thanked!

Prepare to pray by thinking—often—of God’s power, love, and generosity and even for the challenges He allows in your life, because these offer learning and growth.

Praying means that you believe God exists and can be trusted, even if you don’t understand what He does or allows. You probably feel good when someone trusts your guidance. It’s because you’re made in God’s image. He’s pleased when we trust Him.

Dealing with Guilt

Surprise!—Prayer isn’t trying to get God to do what we want; it should be asking Him to shape us in any situation so that He is glorified, and we grasp what He wants us to think, speak, and do.

As stated earlier, praying should prompt us to first consider and value the perfect, all-powerful God. Yet, this might make us shamefully aware of our disobedience to His commands and cause us to turn from Him. That’s the Devil’s goal; Satan doesn’t want us to trust God or pray. So, rather than let guilt obstruct your prayer life, God says confess your guilt to Him, and know that He fully forgives you, and will help you do better.

God is merciful and can help us to overcome sin impulses by giving us the Holy Spirit after we choose to acknowledge Christ as God and accept His sacrifice as our only way to eternal life. ”I am the way, the truth, and life—no one comes to the Father in heaven, except through me.”—Jesus in John 14.6.

When to Pray

God knows all that you think, say, and do. Don’t let His complete knowledge of you stop you from praying. For example, a close married couple might know what each will say, but they still talk, to connect. God wants you to talk to Him! If you get distracted, just start again. Plan a regular time of prayer, perhaps during the morning shower or commute, before meals or at bedtime.

When Not to Pray

There’s no need to pray about a matter where God’s word instructs on that topic, such as to not be “unequally yoked” (don’t marry or go into business partnership, with one who isn’t of the same belief about God), or to not commit adultery. Saying, “I’ll pray about it,” sounds spiritual, but it insults God who gave clear guidance for our protection. Instead, first check a Bible concordance or google “Bible”, a word that describes the issue in your heart, to see God’s instruction on your situation.

How to Pray

• Prayer is expressing thoughts to God as you do with a trusted friend: honestly, feeling safe.

• There’s no “right” posture; sit, lay, stand, bow, walk, run, kneel.

• You needn’t close your eyes; it’s not commanded, and Jesus never did. Keep eyes alert on detainees at the jail, or as you drive.

• Pray silently if you choose, but praying aloud is more powerful and helps against distractions.

• Only pray to God, through the Son, by the Holy Spirit in you. Don’t ask angels, saints, or mother Mary to mediate for you; that wrongly turns them into idols with divine power, which they don’t have. Only God the Father, Son, and Spirit are divine.

• If you feel you can’t pray well for yourself—you’re exhausted or ill—be reassured knowing that the Holy Spirit prays for us when we can’t (Romans 8:26), plus others will pray on your behalf, if you ask (James 5:16).

What to Pray

You can ask God how you should pray, to desire to pray more, and to read His word often, and to have ever-growing faith in Him.

Ask Him for wisdom and instruction. God knows everything, all about us, and has more power to help more than anyone else!

Nothing is too minor to pray about.

It’s acceptable to complain to God. In fact, one-third of the Psalms and all of Lamentations are complaints by biblical heroes! Rather than dumping on someone’s day, it’s best to complain to the One in charge. But don’t just recite your worries to God; give them to Him to handle, even if you must do this repeatedly every few minutes. When trusted, God can give strength to get through anything.

Use the opening and closing prayers in Galatians, Ephesians, or Colossians, as examples. Try restating these prayers in your own words.

Read a psalm as your prayer—such as Psalm 51:10, 70:1 or 139:23.

Why Pray?

1. To please God by obeying Him. He commands, “in everything…pray to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

2. To copy Jesus. On Earth, Jesus thought prayer was vital and prayed often. If He needed to, don’t we? Since returning to heaven, He has now spent more than 2,000 years praying for us (Hebrews 7:25)!

3. To find God’s solution. For example, not “Give me that job,” but “God, guide me where to look for the job You have for me.” Jesus prayed all night about what seemed minor: who to pick as disciples, yet through them, 2.2+ billion people now follow Jesus!

4. To resist sin. Prayer weakens sin as we unite with Christ to overcome temptation (Hebrews 4:15-16).

5. To fight evil. A college president blocked Christian meetings on campus. Students prayed to be allowed to have the meetings. He was replaced with a man who “happened” to follow Christ.

6. To combat fear. When scared, pray; it reminds you that God is with you!

7. To receive forgiveness. When disobeying God, we can confess our sin and be forgiven (1st John 1:9).

8. To help others know God. Praying aloud for another’s needs, in Jesus’s name, can help him or her to consider God.

9. To build the most important and eternal relationship. Christianity is a personal friendship with God the Father through Christ the Son. God hates man-made rules and rituals because people put faith in those, rather than Him. Yes, all good people go to heaven, but Jesus said, “only God is good.” However, great news: “good” people don’t enter heaven, but all forgiven people do! Anyone can accept Jesus’s sacrificial gift on their behalf, be forgiven for 100% of their sin, and gain God and heaven for eternity!

Will My Prayer be Heard?

God hears, unless we reject the Bible as truth: “If one rejects God’s word, his prayer is an abomination to God” (Proverbs 28:9).

Will My Prayer be Answered?

Jesus never spoke about unanswered prayer, because God always answers. If in conflict with others, God wants us to address that first, saying “grow” by obeying His word. When He delays, “pray more.” If our timing is off, He says “wait.” If our request is wrong, He says “no.” If our timing and request are right, He says “go,” so don’t hesitate; do as He prompts! Before receiving a next step, you must have obeyed the first one, since He doesn’t bless disobedience.

Will Prayer Make me Feel Better?

A relationship with God isn’t about feelings, because these change and often mislead us. It’s about trusting Him no matter what we hear, see, or feel, to gain His direction, peace, and hope: “Do not be anxious about anything, but by prayer with thanks, give your requests to God and His peace will guard your heart” (Philippians 4:5-7).

Next Step

You might now choose to pray, “God, thank You for all You’ve done and do for me. Please guide me to a stronger prayer life and growing relationship with You. In Christ’s name, I ask. Amen.”

If you’ve any question or would like me to pray for you, I’d love to hear from you.

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Chaplain Linda Ahrens Chaplain American Jail Association